HINTS FOR CARERS OF PERSONS WITH DEPRESSION

1.      Reassurance that depression will end. It always does.

2.      “Let’s talk about some of the things that are worrying you” Let’s list them in order of priority”

3.      No guilt trips necessary. (depressed person already feels guilty enough about everything)

4.      Walk BESIDE. Not above or below

5.      It’s a biochemical condition, chicken or egg? I don’t think anyone has the answer

6.      Encourage but  DON’T push. Even the simplest task CAN seem insurmountable.

7.      It doesn’t matter if it’s not PERFECT help break the task up into manageable bits.

8.      Reward ANY small attempts to do stuff

9.      TREAT ANY THREAT OF SUICIDE SERIOUSLY -> meantime, talk it through                        - practical ways to deal with thoughts eg. Not to be on their own. Even small things like “let’s just see the sunrise!” or “It’s going to be your sisters/brothers birthday, may avert a crisis.

10.  Care about your own life. Look after yourself.

11.  Encourage realistic goal setting. Small goals each day  (a) get out of bed, (b) shower, (c) eat breakfast, (d) reward yourself and cross off achievements.  ** This definitely helps the depressed person to feel better (at least they are doing something... this is VERY important)

12.  Then PRAISE  BUT DON’T PATRONISE  * see a small sense of achievement emerge

13.  PARADOXICALLY although the depressed person needs to feel a sense of achievement, the BIGGEST THING YOU CAN DO is ASK WHAT IS WORRYING THEM  eg housework , cutting their toenails, making their bed etc -.> ASK WHETHER THEY’D LIKE YOU TO DO ANY OF IT FOR THEM????????? Then stay a while and have a cuppa. Sometimes when a person is really depressed, just to be around normality is  enought to make them feel so much better.

14.  THE LAST THING A DEPRESSED PERSON NEEDS IS TO FEEL GUILTY

15.  Don’t ever THINK YOU know HOW THEY FEEL!!!!!!!!!! No-one can ever truly know how someone else feels until we can walk a mile in their shoes. THAT IS WHY TRU EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT.

16.  Tell the depressed person that when that (all too familiar) cloud comes hanging over them,    not to think it is weak to ask someone to come and just “be” with you.  Reassure them of how quickly people would say yes if asked as they are just waiting to help in any way they can.