WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY, THE TEACHER APPEARS

Firstly, I want to say I am so grateful that my blog has had almost 6000 pageviews (April, 2014) since it’s inception. My goal was to be of help to even one person so I’m hopeful that has been achieved. It’s been a huge year for me and looking back I can see certain lessons evolving. Some of my teachers have been Wayne Dyer, Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, Robert Ohotto, Yusuf Islam and John Denver..... a pretty amazing crew I reckon. It was obviously the year that the Universe decided I needed to have a good look at my shadow (something until now, I really hadn’t known much about, nor thought much about).

Without conscious intention, I was fortunate to attend the World premiere of “Moonshadow” – a musical, created in Cat Steven’s mind back when he was a teenager in Drury Lane, London. It was his dream to portray the story of a young man’s journey from dark to light (metaphorically) and to use his (Cat’s) music to tell the story. After a series of “meant to be” experiences, the right people came together and hence the musical. My absolute blessing that the world premiere should be in Melbourne. Prophetic that the moon should be my astrological ruling planet and that this year I had to face my shadow.

Put simply, the shadow archetype is one that plays out as a result of maybe childhood experience where one’s light is not allowed to shine (that is very simplistic – however we all have shadows) or denied aspects of self, so in my case, I’ve identified the Judge, the Moralist, the Victim, the Narcissist, the Preacher, the Bully............ not liking what I have found. After spending almost 2 months helping to nurse my sister with terminal cancer, I returned home to Queensland and soon commenced an 8 week online course entitled “Discovery your Destiny in the Shadow” by Robert Ohotto . It was heavy going and my thinking was intense.

Around this time, (again not deliberately) Carl Jung became a focus. Much of what I believe and relate to over the last few years can be traced back to Jung. I watched youtube interviews and read about his life. Coincidentally, I recently saw the movie “A Dangerous Method” (and have watched it several times as my daughter in law has a copy) which is about Jung’s life and his relationship with Freud (both famous psychiatrists in the last century). Jung talked about synchronizations and the collective unconscious... but he also talked about shadow archetypes and the need for us all to identify them in ourselves. Another book which talked about the shadow is “The Path of Synchronicity” by Dr Allan Hunter, who also talks about the importance of myth and legend to the journey of the psyche. This is taught to us in the works of Joseph Campbell, who also came across my path along the way – another story in itself.......... but they are all gathering places on my bookshelf.

During this time of exploration, I have been experiencing what I believe to be a “dark night of the soul” – something which coincidentally, Carl Jung battled through for many months and bordered on insanity, but he emerged from it with some of his best insights and during that time and for many years he journalled and illustrated the infamous Red Book. So the closest I can come to describing the last 3 months is a “dark night of the soul”. In that time, my psychiatrist has declared I am well enough to survive without her (just using my GP) as I am now 4 years without hospitalisation. Although I clearly stated that my thinking is “out there”, she ticked the boxes – sleeping ok? – “pretty well, the odd ½ valium”, eating ok? – not too bad, able to operate ok in society? – not bad, not overspending, not being intrusive ? – NO – quite the opposite... not depressed? – borderline, but coping. So – how ironic!!! My thinking is definitely “out there”, but I’ve been riding it out with no antipsychotic medication, only my normal lithium and the odd valium. Where to from here? I don’t know.... but like Carl Jung, I’m prepared to keep going. It’s all I really know. The journey of the mind. I am a student. I am a seeker of truth. When I surrendered (and I have no doubt that was shown to me) I was prepared to take whatever came. When Jung was interviewed and asked "do you believe in God?" His answer was "I don't believe, I know"

I couldn’t have done it over the last 3 months without the support of my family (in particular my sister, who, knowing the psychic pain I have been in was prepared to let me do it my way. That takes a BIG love) It was SPACE that I have needed and that is what I have had. I prayed a lot and I always remembered to be as responsible to others as possible. This song by John Denver could have been written for me – “Looking for Space”