VICTORY – WHEN THE STARS BEGIN TO FALL

This is written for my dear friend Daisy. You see – it all started with her and she is a huge part of this story. Actually I may not share it with anyone else. It is just our little amazing story.

The story starts when Daisy arrived loaded with gifts and one of them was a pair of pants with aboriginal print on them which she got from the op shop (as Daisy loves to do...). At first I thought “oh they’re too big” and it was a while before I even tried them on. When I did I found them to be comfortable and not that much too big. I have worn them a lot and washed them a few times.

They have pockets and I love to put my hands inside. I could feel something like a button inside. I thought it must be the button off my dressing gown. One day I pulled it out randomly and when I looked at it I found it to be a little round medallion – a bit bigger than a five cent piece. It was a woman’s head and the word “Delphi” . I hadn’t heard of it before but was soon to find out.

The Oracles of Delphi are well known – belonging to Apollo – an important god of music, truth, prophecy, healing, the sun, light, plague poetry and more (according to Google). If you check Wikipedia you will see the stories of the two eagles which Zeus set out from two sides of Gaia and they met at Delphi. Also Delphi is the derivative of dolphin..... the story of Apollo and how the laurel wreath came into being......... so you can see that these pants are very important and I treat them with much reverence. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delphi

The fact that John Denver’s song “Spirit” features Apollo in the chorus did not escape my notice.

Apollo taught me to rhyme

Orpheus taught me to play

Andromeda cast down her sign

And Vega lights my way

 

Two days later there was a loud knock on my door and it was next door neighbour, Barb telling me she was getting the pest controller in as she had mice and spiders. The next day I was sitting on the couch and a mouse ran out from behind some parcels. I felt I was meant to see that mouse so I googled “mouse –symbolism” . Yep – something was going on as the mouse relates to Apollo.

 

Around this time Daisy was picking up on an Ancient Greece theme – coerced into watching “Troy” with the kids , a book fell into her lap from her book case on Ancient Greece. We were both seeing references everywhere like on stamps, I bought Daisy a book set in Ancient Greece for her birthday called “Circe”.

 

Separate from the ancient Greece theme, there was an anchor theme happening big time. I won’t say much about that here except that everyone was seeing the anchor in strange and wonderful places.

 

Also – a dolphin fell off my charm bracelet and I found it in my bed. I’ve had that bracelet for 16 years and not a problem before.

 

Delphi

The next month (May – I think because Prince William and Meghan Markle were married at the time) the news was focussing on the words laurel and yanny. Apparently when people heard the word, they would hear either one or the other. I was watching The Project one night and as they spoke of it I noticed my finger was on Joseph Campbell in face book. I thought (looking at the logo ) – that is a laurel wreath. At least that is what I thought – but couldn’t get a definite answer in a Joseph Campbell group. However I found the myth of Apollo, Daphne, Daphne’s dad the river god turning Daphne into a laurel wreath and the wreath becoming a favourite of Apollo, becoming a symbol of victory. Later I was to find upon typing in Joseph Campbell to a face book search I find that Delphi is pictured at the top of the page and the story closely linked to Joseph Campbell (upon reading some of the comments)....... Victim to Victory..........

 

 

So signs about VICTORY kept popping up. One example is a two-fold sign. When Cherie finally got herself a home I always thought it would be a turning point in all of our lives (don’t know why). I was so happy for her when she moved in and things started falling into place. One day shortly after she moved in, I received a text saying she had discovered some awesome things in the back yard and also she said “look at my door knocker!!”

 

 

 

Then Daisy came to visit again – once again laden with goodies. One was a Willow Tree figurine called “courage”. At first I thought I had plenty of stuff so I asked if I could give it to Cherie. Dais was cool with that.... but alas Cherie (practicing the art of speaking her truth) chose to give it a miss as she had plenty of ornaments and nowhere to put it. So I decided to keep it. When I put it on the table with the others I could see why I kept it. It didn’t say “courage” to me. It said VICTORY!!!

Well – at this point my head was full. I’m thinking too much and need to let go of attachment.... all the time praying for guidance...

This morning as I was getting out of bed I knocked my mobile phone on the floor. As I bent down to pick it up I glanced sideways and I had 3 new pair of bras sitting on a crate beside my bed – with tags still on them waiting for me to return them to Myers as they are too small. One of the tags was hanging out and the brand name on it was Triumph....  When you Google victory, synonym  you get triumph.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then there was the time a few years ago when one night I printed out over twenty pages of Charli’s journal which I had written about her first five years. I pulled out two plastic folders to put the pages in. There was a red one and a black one. I chose the black one instinctively.. then noticed the word “victory” written on the bottom right hand side. I knew that would resonate with Charli as I recalled a few years before one night (I was slightly elevated) when she and I had a mad hatters tea party. We had such fun. She spilt water on the floor and splashed around with such joy I will never forget her little face. We had rabbits and tea set – the works. That night my ipod was playing on random and a song by the Seekers came on. It was “When the Stars Begin to Fall” . One verse goes “you will hear the sound of victory; you will hear the sound of victory. You will hear the sound of victory.... when the stars begin to fall....” Charli shouted out “victory” as though she knew it was important.

 

 

 

 

9^th June 2019 

Today my sister Bombi ( Ann Bombi Weller) passed away after long suffering but a very fast ending when diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of primary lungs. She was a fighter, she was stoic – she lived a tough life. She was the real deal – true blue.

 

This is a picture taken from a super 8 movie from 1974 – Christmas with the extended family. Looks like Victory to me!!

 

And Bombi’s husbands name is Victor!!!!!!!  And when I was a teenager he asked me to paint a statue which stood at the entrance to his mansion on the hill

 

Tell me a story Dad..............

 

The Answer is Blowin in the wind - epilogue

When I first started this blog in August 2010, the title sort of evolved because of the graphic of the page design plus a few synchronicities which involved the wind which I speak of in other blogs. 

I've recently reconnected with my old mate and storyteller Arlo Guthrie whose album "Hobo's Lullaby" was a favourite of mine back in my teens. I stumbled upon this clip in which he tells of his Bob Dylan experience. For those who don't know " Blowin in the Wind" was written by Bob Dylan.

But - you see (like several artists who have been around awhile) Bob let me down a few years ago....

It was my birthday and my son and his family gave me a ticket to Bob Dylan who was playing in Brisbane. I was melting at the thought of hearing all my favourite songs. There, of course are so many. As I find it quite stimulating to go out, my friend Jan offered to pick me up, drive me there from the Gold Coast and drop me at the door , pick me up at the end and get me home. It was all planned down to a fine art.

First half of the concert - there was one song that I knew, the rest were new songs and I couldn't understand a word he sang. At interval I asked the person next to me what the deal was. He said "oh - he'll only do one more of his older songs - I've seen the setlist" It only took me a minute to decide. I headed outside, rang my friend who picked me up and I headed home.

I can't tell you how disappointed I was especially when everyone had put such thought into getting me there!!  So that was my chance - gone!!!!!!! 

And after all that I have come to very much appreciate artists who sing the old songs that the audience want to hear, and to sing along to - THAT is what MUSIC is for - we "get by with a little help from our friends" and we join together. It's not an ego trip.......... Bob! Bob! Bob!   But I am SO grateful for your songs - oh yeah!!!

So now, listen to beautiful Arlo (just love him) as he tells the STORY of his Bob Dylan experience. 

 

Christmas 2017 - the Bells, the magic, the synchronicities

Christmas 2017 – the bells, the magic, the synchronicities

One way to describe synchronicities is when something a bit random or out of character happens and it leads to a series of related happenings. The key is to just smile and roll with it, realising that the world really IS a magic place if your eyes and heart are open.

It was random, the day I packaged up some Christmas cards in a Santa stocking with the idea of getting Charli (grand daughter) to “play Santa” and give them out to her little family. Washing my hands in the bathroom, I spotted two golden bells which I had used for earrings one Christmas. I love bells, so I attached them to the Santa stocking. Charli was excited about her role and said “Nan – can I keep the stocking?” .....  “Of course you can C Ro!”

The day that I visited we played games and talked about stuff. I asked Charli had she seen “ Polar Express” (I had seen it several times but never watched it properly – just liked it ) Charli said “I love that movie Nan!!!”

A few nights later I noticed Polar Express was on the telly so I messaged her Dad to let Charli know and I made a “note to self” to really watch it properly. I had never watched the ending before and was amazed to see the ending. The BELL was a major feature of the story and the message of Christmas.

I began to notice bells being a feature this year. My friend Marilyn sent me a gift. It had been sitting waiting to be opened for a few weeks as she always gets in early with her mailing. On the bottom – a bell!! 

 I remembered a video of Charli in kinder a few years back and she was starring as she rang on her bell.

 

Jingle Bells kept turning up in movies and (of course carols) – one is “The Christmas Gift” which begins with the song.

Then my friend Daisy (who shares and syncs with me all the time – which is another story – uncanny). She had bought something at a garage sale ....... a porcelain bell.

And for a few years now I have hung on to a set of earrings – Christmas Bells.

One of John Denver’s early albums was called “Whose Garden Was This?” It wasn’t a huge best seller – mainly covers – random.... He sang “Golden Slumbers” (as per Abby Road) but decided he’d “carried enough weight” so instead he sang “Sweet Sweet Life” (maybe an early understanding of the importance of affirmations). The title was meant to be a commentary on the state of the World. “Tremble if you Must” (maybe reference to the Aspen)........... but the last song was (randomly) “Jingle Bells”

So make of this story what you will. It’s true. Maybe it means nothing! I am not attached to what you may think.

But Daisy’s daughter, Mandy who is a beautiful Down’s Syndrome lady is often “tuned” into things of magic..... so many stories........ Two weeks ago Daisy bought 2 peacocks which she intends to hang on her exterior wall. Her comment to me was something like “it’ll be interesting to see what turns up”  Today I opened a parcel from Daisy and Mandy. Mandy had made me a card with a beautiful verse (it was a recycled one but nevertheless – spot on!!). Guess what the picture was????

7th December, 2020

Well - in 2017 Charli and Emmy received a Polar Express train from Nanny Maz. And Emmy got to know the story about Believing and the magic bell. The train had a bell and a light just like the real one.  

Last year they decided to pass on the train to another little boy and girl and my friend Florence knew just the ones. Leo (who was 4 years old and his little sister Zali). When they first got the train via Nanny Florence they weren't very familiar with the story but Leo just loved the train and his Nan and Nanny Florence and now he is a big fan of Casey Barnes as he knows how it all came to be............   This is the video of Leo when he first got the train

And this year Leo and Zali's Dad has made the Polar Express pride of place around the Christmas tree.

Have a magical Christmas everyone

 

The Magic of Alchemy and my Bipolar

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and much has transpired. I went through a stage where I felt that I didn’t need to talk about it anymore, but just to live it.... and I’m still tending that way. About 9 months ago something unusual happened. A post that I had written on 12^th December 2012 suddenly appeared as the most recent post, so I felt drawn to look at it closely. It was called “Poetry to God”. The thing that stood out to me was God’s last comment to me and it said “passivity child... let the roses come...” I had to look up “passivity” as it wasn’t a word known to me. It means submission. I also was shown pg 11 “A Hero with a Thousand Faces”, Joseph Campbell and once again reference to submission. Then there was the ant plague, then flying ants and once again a theme of submission when I googled this. So I decided I would try to “achieve” submission as stated on pg 11. There were too  many red lights and I wasn’t dismissing them.

I’ve talked frequently in my blogs about surrender and (of course) submission is a slightly greater achievement......... not easy!!!! So when people seemed to be crapping on me I was letting go and letting God.

One day I had a day talking about the people who press our buttons and how they are mirroring something to us... something we need to see in ourselves or to learn from. I spoke to both my kids on the same day about this... then (as would happen) a book arrived in the mail that day. It had been 3 weeks coming but arrived THAT day. As I lay in bed starting with the acknowledgements I read “I would like to thank all of those people who pressed my buttons because without them this book would not have been written”... a theme that day.

So before I went to sleep I said a prayer asking for help with someone I needed to forgive and accept their actions in pressing my buttons. I was struggling to see with this person what it was. I awoke at 3 am with a song in my head. I now know this is called an ear worm. It wasn’t a song that had been in my head but it WAS a song from the soundtrack of a movie and that person I was struggling with had sent me that CD a couple of years ago. That’s when I knew I just had to TRUST that all was well and forgive that person and myself. This was huge but I felt so at peace when I worked it all out. How amazing.

So I continued along with my passivity and kept seeing how if I let go and let God there was a bigger plan and I just had to trust. I’m so much better at it now. I have continued to be a couch potato / mountain in an attempt to be responsible to the people in my life and to keep the “bipolar” in balance. I am saying “bipolar” in inverted commas now as I believe it is just a label.... and there are so many degrees of this “disorder” and so many interpretations and remedies that it is unfair to say any one person has all the answers! Of course they haven’t...... but there is a growing rumbling in the collective unconscious and it is saying “there is more to this..... we are people experiencing spiritual emergence and much of the population don’t understand”. So groups like www.shadesofawakening.com, www.bipolarorwakingup.com  and movies like www.crazywise.com are making themselves known. So many people who have been labelled are finding their voices and speaking out and there are you tube clips galore. It is a positive time.

 It’s not just those labelled bipolar, but autism, asperger’s syndrome and more...... so forget the labels and start listening to the human beings and seeing the amazing gifts they have to share with the world.

My amazing mentor, Dr Wayne Dyer passed away at the end of August. I was lucky enough to see him in Brisbane 2 weeks before and I will never forget it. He has taught me so much. Gratitude doesn’t even seem a big enough word. But like I said in other blogs “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” .... and he surely did that. Carl Jung was asked whether he believed in God and he said “no... I don’t believe.... I KNOW”  I’m with Jung... another big teacher for me.

And guess what? The student must have been ready because a “biggie” popped up about 5 weeks ago – a course called “The Alchemy of Symbols” an online course run by 2 amazing teachers from South Africa. There were almost 100 students doing the modules. I found MY TRIBE. My whole life I have thought about and related to symbols and archetypes. I can see there is a plethora of material and I am only scraping the surface but the revelations that have surfaced have blown me away..... and I must admit I have struggled with hypomania and been taking some meds for the last 3 weeks. I’m ok......... there’s always the couch for a couple of days when necessary.

All I can say is Carl Jung was an amazing man / psychiatrist and it has become obvious to me that he has a large following. The quality of students participating in this course at first left me feeling inadequate, but I gradually morphed into things. I was a real student again for the first time in over 10 years and I loved it. Jung introduced the likes of archetypes (although that was around before him), understanding our shadow, the collective unconscious (we are all one), symbols, synchronicity.

I still have to watch myself and check my ego regularly. Even writing this I am wondering whether it is about being right (ego – edging God out) or wanting to share and maybe help someone else. I haven’t had severe depression for some time and I have to say the world feels like a better place. I have also come to accept that I have never felt “in” the world and that is hard to explain. I have gone through the motions and done what I thought I should do..... but never felt grounded in that... very difficult to live like that especially when for much of it you don’t realise you are different in that way.

But don’t tell me I am less of a person. Don’t call me names that “put me down”. Yes I may be different...... but... let’s face it we are all different and that’s what makes the world what it is. I don’t discount the law of attraction although I have proven it can be a dangerous thing if your ego is driving it...... BUT THE MIND IS A POWERFUL THING which must be respected....... and even a tad “feared” at times as it can cause all sorts of strife including depression, anxiety – well any disorder that is connected to our brain/ mind.

I have learned there is something else at play – call it God, The Tao, The Source, Higher Self.... etc  but I know it is there. How do I know? Synchronicities – that’s how. They happen to me... they happen almost daily...... sometimes miracles..... How could I ever be the same when this is so  - ay Carl Jung?????

To try to prove to someone what I know.... is becoming less important to me.. and when I find myself going down that path, I get a vibe..... and I know to stop right there.

I thank every single person in my life as I have come to realise they are mirroring me and on levels I don’t even understand , they love me... and I love them.

MY BODY IS MERELY THE SHELL OF MY SOUL

There’s a verse in the song “Eagles and Horses” – John Denver which says.... “my body is merely the shell of my soul... but the flesh must be given its due.. like a pony that carries its master back home... like an old friend whose tried and been true...

I’ve struggled with the BODY all of my life. I would get angry “why did I get the stretch marks, the cellulite, the obesity, the fine horrible hair etc etc??? And it’s taken me a long time to work it out.

Now I feel that if I had the so-called “body beautiful” that most people are constantly striving to attain,  I wouldn’t have discovered the amazing insights into my soul that I have found especially in the last 20 years, because (for sure) I would have been flaunting myself all over the place. A part of me knows that.. So “Thank you Universe for my Body”

                        THANKYOU – MY BODY

            You are my valued teacher

            You take my challenges and reflect them back to me

            Thankyou for being a patient mentor

            I value your strength of being

            Your power

            Your profound potential

            I honour you

            Your ability to rejuvenate knows no bounds

            I experience your healing power with gratitude

            I experience my well being

            My body is a harmony of being

            I am so fortunate for this opportunity

            To experience my physical being

            I embrace my physicality

            Thankyou my body, for sharing this life with me

                                                                                                            Deborah Mann

A few years ago I spotted this ode on my friend Helen’s fridge. I asked her whether I could have a copy and she gave me hers.

Today, I spotted this on my friend Narelle’s face book page.

So glad I have learned the lesson of THE BODY and the lesson of SURRENDER before I have reached the end of my days as happens with many.

And then came this............. which sums up much of what I’ve come to believe. Thanks Jim Carrey...

           

           

JUDGEMENT, SELF RESPECT AND THE LILAC ROSE

It was my birthday - July 2014 and my friends Annette and Anayah surprised me and took me out for lunch. They are both "big" on angels and have a show on the internet called Angel Heart Radio. I hadn't experienced angels much except I'm sure I have a parking angel (lol). I asked my friends how I could research the subject and how would I know whether there are angels or not??? Their answer was "just ask.... just ask the angels to show you something that would leave you just knowing...."  So that night when I went to bed, I said a prayer "angels can you show me something clearly?"

 I awoke the next day and noticed just behind my eyes a lilac rose - not something I identified with,nevertheless it was clearly a lilac/ mauve rose and I said it out aloud as I woke myself up. That day, when I was checking my face book page , I noticed a story posted by a friend from Colorado. She shared a story about a mauve/ lilac rose.

Her story told about when she stopped at traffic lights and a total stranger (female) got out of her car, walked over and gave Melanie a mauve rose. Me – mauve rose - twice in one day!!

And as the Universe would do, that same night I was browsing my saved movies on Tevo. I came across one called “Bed of Roses”. It was a romantic comedy about a lady who loved Mauve/ lilac roses. The florist (potential beau) had a room full of lilac roses delivered to her.

To me – 3 things in one day was enough validation of a synchronicity in action. I didn’t try to interpret it at the time except to let my friend, Mel know the story. My mood would have been elevated although controllable at the time.

The next two months were pretty traumatic in my life – both emotionally and mentally. I came upon some realisations that were pretty powerful. I remember years ago doing a workshop with a clairvoyant who asked the participants to identify issues which we related specifically to our same-sex parent.... and that this would be something that carried right through our lives. The biggest issue that jumped out at me was / is  JUDGEMENT.

 I have also come to know that these issues are often coming FROM us as well as TO us. I was seeing my SHADOW issues (see Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, Robert O’hotto, Caroline Myss, Allan Hunter, Wayne Dyer ) coming at me thick and fast through the people closest to me. Shadow archetypes of the NARCICIST, the MORALIST, the PREACHER, the JUDGE, THE BULLY the PASSIVE AGGRESSOR, - Oh yes ALL of them in ME but being mirrored back at me. So really – I have no right to be angry about this. The person mirroring ME is doing me the biggest favour. I came to realise this big lesson.... and a big thanks to Di for that early morning chat about pains in the neck. It helped me more than you know.

At the time, I took a stand. I commanded RESPECT, as that was what I felt I needed. SO – it was a double-edged sword. It was those SHADOWS that I possess being mirrored at me but ME needing to respect myself and ask to be respected.... so a BIGGIE!!

So – a big eruption happened in my life. It was something I now feel was meant to be and was sure a learning curve in no uncertain terms.

“JUDGEMENT” is a BIGGIE. We all do it. WHY? WHY? WHY?  Walk a Mile in my shoes.....

And - how profound that this song was from an album (I think) called "Joe South's Greatest Hits" - when I left my job at the Commonwealth Bank in 1973, it was the gift I chose upon leaving. Powerful song !!!!

Mid September I was talking with my friend Helen, who grows roses, dabbles very much in colours and their meanings. She sent me the meaning of that lilac/ mauve rose:

"For calmness of mind and spirit and promotes a better connection to who you really are – an unlimited being, co-creating with whatever God means to you. For change with dignity. Promotes SELF-RESPECT and SELF-LOVE."

4th April 2017

There is a bit more to this story. Last year I had to go out to the shopping centre as I desperately needed a haircut.  I had been living quite reclusively. I made an appointment and reluctantly headed off. Nothing went smoothly. I was trying to hurry but everywhere I went there were cues and people getting in before me. When I eventually made it to the hairdressers I was about 20 mins late (I'm thinking the Universe had a reason) and I probably got a different lady than I might have. Anyway - she was curious about me being on a disability. She was very chatty and very curious. I explained the bipolar and spoke a bit about my history and different ways I have tackled the issue. She said "have you tried crystals? Have you tried ANGELS?" (lol) 

I told her I had a meditation cd of Doreen Virtue and I told her my lilac rose story. THEN SHE SAID TO ME - " I USED TO HAVE A SALON. IT WAS CALLED HEALED BY ANGELS AND EVERYTHING WAS LILAC" 

Just another little part of the lilac story - around the time it first came to be, my son and daughter in law were producing a video for Casey's latest song at the time called "Waiting on the Day" and I was very conscious of the appearance of the colour lilac/ mauve in this clip. Somehow we are all one! Somehow we are all tuned in. XX